The author and her late mother, Hilda Waked
My mother Hilda passed away recently after 14 years of living with dialysis for polycystic kidney disease, an inherited condition. Hilda 69 died in the middle of the pandemic and in a Beirut half destroyed by the gigantic blast at the port on August 4.
I was 26 and living in Paris when my mother Hilda rang me from Beirut to tell me that she would soon be starting dialysis.
Although Hilda, a strong, loving woman, objected, I went to find out if I could give her one of my kidneys as I could not bear the idea of her having to spend hours a day attached to a dialysis machine.
As it turned out, the decision, which I took for and because of my mother probably saved my life.
The doctor who was meant to establish if I was a compatible donor made a terrible discovery. “Christiane I am sorry but I have to inform you that you cannot be a donor for your mother. We found a 7cm tumor in your right kidney”, the doctor at the clinic in Paris told me.
I have to admit that after that I stopped hearing the doctor’s and instead an internal voice took over in complete panic and words like losing my hair, death, and cancer were coming to me.
You might think why did I jump to such hasty conclusions but due to my Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder (PTSD ) from growing during war times in Beirut, I learned to always expect the worst, and this time my guts were telling me right.
Once the results came as Renal Cell Carcinoma Fuhrman grade 2, there was no turning back, and instead of saving my mother from dialysis she saved me from a probable death if cancer spread without my knowledge.
So my right kidney ended up in a garbage bin instead and for a long time, I felt guilty not being able to help my mother and watching her for fourteen years going through the hard treatment of dialysis and seeing her health deteriorating bit by bit and going through several chirurgical operations due to complications till she passed away in 2020 after her body gave up on her.
I came back after living 17 years abroad to be with her in her final years and I was able to hold her hand till the end but I can’t help but think how different her life would have been if I was able to give her my kidney and for that reason, I decided to raise awareness on organ donations so that my mother’s death be a wake-up call to others.
Not only organ donations which is the founding act of transplantations can improve the quality of life of several patients but in many cases, it could save them from death.
In my mother’s case, finding a perfect match for a kidney donor meant it could have helped her regain purification capacities and it is rare that dialysis sessions would be needed after a transplant. About three-fourth of the grafts taken from living donors can still function ten years after the transplant. This meant, my mother could have regained her independence, lived a normal life, and was able to travel and live normally.
When a person dies, many patients up to 7 or 8 can benefit from the deceased organs if that person donated his heart, liver, lungs, pancreas, kidneys, cornea, intestine. An organ donor can help a child with heart disease waiting in a hospital to go back and resume a normal life.
So if you want your organs and tissues to be donated after your death, make sure to make an organ donation card and that you keep it on you all the time and tell your loved ones and your family and surroundings about your wish in case the medical teams questioned the, about your position regarding organ donations.
My mother Hilda which meant warrior in German, fought hard during her illness, she loved life but she loved people more, she always used to tell me that humanity is nothing but one chain connected to one another and the biggest tribute I could do to honor my mother is to remind myself and surroundings how we are all connected in this life and after and what better way to do that than to talk about organ donation and how much it can help people to improve and even save their lives.
Christiane Waked is a columnist, Political analyst, kidney cancer survivor, registered organ donor, music freak, and a dog person.
